Lenten Times A Comin'

Lent is upon us. For those of you who don't have Lutheran roots, Lent is the 40 days that lead up to Easter. It is our time to prepare our hearts and our minds for the celebration of Easter.

At my church Easter is a powerful thing. I will never forget my first Easter Walk. I have written about it often. But I can't stress enough the power of the night. Each Good Friday, the Luther League puts on an Easter Walk, a dramatic step-by-step retracing of Jesus’ journey the days leading up to his crucifixion. The youth show so much passion and faith, the light of the Lord shines right out of them. Experiencing it for the first time, it touched me in a way I could never imagine. Picture it, to have them… my students teaching me, ministering to me and touching my heart. I plan to reflect on that night more in the days to come.

Come, children, listen closely; I'll give
you a lesson in GOD worship.

Who out there has a lust for life? Can't
wait each day to come upon beauty?

Guard your tongue from profanity, and no
more lying through your teeth.

Turn your back on sin; do something good.
Embrace peace--don't let it get away!

-Psalm 34:11-14

This year, I have decided to make myself ready by fasting my tongue. I will do this by refraining- to the best of my ability- from speaking words that are profane, degrading, obscene or insulting. Pray for me. This could be a real test of my will power. I plan on making a donation to a friend's mission trip fund each time I slip up.

Lord, give me strength as I make this sacrifice for you. May I come out more Christ-like on the other side. Amen!

Thirst

Thirst

I've never been stranded in the desert
I've never been locked away
I've never done long without
more than hours or days

But I have this feeling
like a snake in tight skin
an emptiness, an echo
a thirst from within

I feel dry in my bones and I'm wasting away
I feel hollow and empty and bent with decay
My tongue is aching to awaken and say
praises and sonnets to the Lord whom I pray

Its been so long longing
and I eagerly await
like a runner at the start line
or a horse in the gate

For the Spirit to come
wash over me again
to free my feelings
to wash me my sins

To dance in the water
And drink from the well
To water these tired bones
and loose this dry shell

But I am still scouting the arid horizon for a tell tale sign
Hoping for oceans or rainy day skies
Until in that moment I feel I might burst
Like a lost man in the desert I continue to thirst

I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted away within me.

My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me in the dust of death.

-Psalm 22:14-15

Wayfaring Stranger

I just got back from Terry Crosley's jam session. Its just a group of local guys playing guitar and singing some folky blues. Tonight I was really struck by a song we have done a hundred times, the old black spiritual Wayfaring Stranger.

WAYFARING STRANGER

I am a poor wayfaring stranger,
While traveling through this world of woe.
Yet there’s no sickness, toil nor danger
In that bright world to which I go.
I’m going there to see my Father;
I’m going there no more to roam.

I’m only going over Jordan,
I’m only going over home.

I know dark clouds will gather round me;
I know my way is rough and steep.
But golden fields lie out before me
Where God’s redeemed shall ever sleep.
I’m going there to see my mother,
She said she’d meet me when I come.

I’m only going over Jordan,
I’m only going over home.

I’ll soon be free from every trial,
My body sleep in the churchyard;
I’ll drop the cross of self denial
And enter on my great reward.
I’m going there to see my Savior,
To sing His praise forevermore.

I’m only going over Jordan,
I’m only going over home.

We are just travelers here. Whether you are cognoscente of it or not, you too are on a road to a different place. For a long stretch of my life I was working so hard to heap up things that matter in this world. I cared about status and money and such. I was focused on the things in front of me. That is all I could... all I could imagine.

"Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or--worse!-stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

-Matthew 6:19-20

Then the revelation came during that summer mission trip to Charleston, WV. The Lord utilized me in ways I had never imagined. I felt the Holy Spirit working in me, changing me into someone else. I helped kids grow closer to Christ and blossom spiritually. I had always been the teacher that everyone loved. It was so rewarding to transform that student/teacher relationship into one of a spiritual leader. At a foot washing ceremony on the last night of our mission trip we all prayed and prayed. I really opened myself up to God and let Him use me unconditionally. I could feel Old Adam dying and Christ building up a new better person in me.

We shared many hugs, many tears and truly felt the Spirit move. I knew then I had found my calling. I found a quiet corner and prayed, “This evening is the start of a new life for me. I hold nothing back from you Lord. Every part of me belongs to You. Use me as You will.” I wanted to be just as energized and passionate about Jesus EVERYDAY of my life as I was on mission trips.

This was a moment I will never forget. I sat in the men's dorm room weeping for hours into the night... but I was gitty. I just kept on thinking... so this is what life is about! I had found 'it'. And to think, I had been wasting my efforts on other things... when the whole time, 'it' was right here for free. It was a beautiful letdown when I realized that I had everything backwards. Real joy comes from sharing God's light with others. Before, I taught about great artists like Picasso and Pollock. Now I teach about the greatest artist of all, the one that made the earth and stars and knew me before I was even born.

There is nothing more bittersweet than the moment that you realize that you are a complete idiot and everything you had been living for was wrong. Jon Foreman calls this the beautiful letdown.

Beautiful Letdown
Switchfoot

It was a beautiful let down when I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful let down the day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me would never do

In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in, until I found out I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But I don't belong

It was a beautiful let down when you found me here
Yeah for once in a rare blue moon I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful let down that's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul I'll sing for free
We're still chasing our tails and the rising sun
And our dark water planet's still spinning in a race
Where no one wins and no one's one

I don't belong here
I'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But i don't belong, I don't belong here
Your kingdom come

Won't you let me down yeah, let my foolish pride forever let me down

Easy living, not much like your name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Won't you please take me off your list
Easy living please come on and let me down

We are a beautiful let down, painfully uncool,
The church of the dropouts, the losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools
Oh what a beautiful let down are we salt in the wound
Let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here, feels like I don't belong here
Let me down, because I don't belong here
Please, won't you let me down?

In the years since my late night awakening, my paradigm has shifted. I now see this entire life as merely an on-ramp for a much better ride. And the place we are headed hasn't got any of the baggage that we are used to. No sickness, toil or danger. It is just one long interstate. But unfortunately, some people do not realize that they have missed their exit and are headed for the wrong road. Friends, I ask you to take a moment and evaluate where your priorities are set. What are you living for?

Do you get the Message??

Tuesday night I was in my night class and we were discussing bible translations. We were reading a certain verse to see how it differed from individual text to text.

At issue was the words “Brothers” used by Paul when addressing a crowd. Some texts have interpreted this as “Brothers and Sisters” since the term supposedly means human beings and isn’t necessarily tied to gender.

After going over a few translations, I announced that I read split text NIV/Message and read the Message version aloud. It chose to use a gender neutral term “Friends.” People laughed. Even though the professor said the Message was an excellent Thought for Thought translation, the King Jimmy folks seemed convinced that the Message is a joke. Oh well, they can chuckle. As I have said before, "I readeth what I can understandeth!"

If reading the Message brings one teen closer to Christ, then who cares what a textual critic would say? I know what my youth relate to and what waters their thirst. They want a Bible for them; that they can easily access and understand. A functional bible does just that. The Spirit can work through any language and any translation. God is REALLY POWERFUL! Chill out and trust Him!

Generation Genesis

Generation Genesis

For those of you who don't know Generation Genesis is an ecumenical service that meets to worship the first Sunday of every month. Also known as G-squared, this service utilizes emergent/ postmodern worship forms, contemporary music and a message aimed for teens and their problems.

Mission Statement:

To present of the Good News to the youth of our community in a way that is relevant to their lives and encourage the growth of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

The Service

Generation Genesis is a service for millennials. It employs Postmodern/ Experiential/ Emergent Worship (PEEW) methods. Matthew Campbell defines this new and evolving movement in his essay Thoughts About PEEW:

PEEW is a new style of worship whose goal is to place God as the audience in worship- as the entity receiving the praise and worship. From there, it follows that the worship leaders are the prompters, the persons inspiring the worshipers to praise in new ways and to their utmost strength. Finally, then, the performers are actually the congregation members, because God is their audience, and they are praising and performing not for themselves or others, but for God. In this new mindset, a member of the congregation can praise the Lord wherever they are in whatever they do, without a church or leaders, because they are always a performer for our all-seeing, all-knowing God. Thus, the focus of PEEW is not church-centered, self-serving worship, but life-centered, God-serving worship.

In our services, we incorporate elements of the liturgy, contemporary music, paraphrased bible readings and a variety of activities designed to get the entire group involved in the worship experience. We integrate video, PowerPoint slideshows, drama, symbolic action that I will describe in the next section. These events turn worship into an interactive experience that appeals to all the senses.

Generation Genesis uses Robert Webber's Convergent Worship model as detailed in his book Signs of Wonder: The Phenomenon of Convergence in Modern Liturgical and Charismatic Churches.

We follow the four acts of service but rarely offer the Eucharist at our youth services. Instead, we offer other means for students to get involved in worship. In the book Awesome Worship Services For Youth, the authors describe this form of worship Symbolic Action. This might entail reenacting biblical events or creating symbols of Christian Faith. It is during this time that the message is made real through each youth becoming part of the service.

Come experience Generation Genesis yourself. You might meet the greatest Friend you'll ever know.

Freedom in the Spring

Touring the Joslyn yesterday I was struck by the beauty and mastery of the Return of Spring by Adolphe-William Bouguereau. WOW! What an image. I stood there in awe and fumbled through a sketch of the maiden's expression in my artist journal.

I know that look. I know that feeling. I know how she must feel, blissful, bright, shiny and new. She appears in a totally transformed world of cobalt blue skies, bright sunlight and everything in bloom.

There is a freedom in this painting, a freedom I know so well. I remember the first few months after West Virginia. I locked myself away in my studio and I ate and drank meditation. I devoured the Word. I soaked up praise music. I would lay prone on the floor and weep for my Savior. I was transformed by the Spirit and I dangled from the feeling like it was all I had. I was totally new. I wanted to suck the marrow from the bone. I wanted to be blown away. I felt like I was finally free of all the bonds that were holding me down. The great frozen winter of my life had finally broken and now spring was in bloom.

GOLDEN

switchfoot

So this final verse is a contradiction

And the more we learn the less we know

We've been talkin' about a feeling,

We both know inside but couldn't find the words

I couldn't write this verse,

I've seldom been so sure,

About anything before

Golden,

You are Golden, Child

You are Golden,

Don't let go

Don't let go tonight

This world is a dead man down

Every breath is a fading crown we wear

Like some debilitated king

Don't let go tonight

The Earth spins and the moon goes round

The green comes from the frozen ground

And everything will be made new again

Like freedom in spring

Hey, like freedom in spring, Like freedom in spring

Friends, we live in a dying world. Do not place your trust in what it has to offer, or you will find yourself bankrupt and stranded. I encourage you to look ever to the future Kingdom, to embrace the coming spring, the thawing of your heart, the blooming of the fruits of a personal relationship with the Master. Jesus is coming, spring is on the horizon. Be reborn by His grace and find the true freedom in spring.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

--Romans 12:2

Churchiantiy

I heard a lady the other day discuss her devotion to her church for a long period of time. She shared many stories about things she was doing with small groups and bible studies. Then, as we passed a man on the side of the road with a cardboard sign, she dropped some darrogatory insults about him, told a funny joke about bums and said that instead of a meal he needed a GED.

It then dawned on me, while she was working on her church, we were busy feeding the homeless. Churchianity is a blite. Be the GOSPEL in the world. Reach out to the orphans. Feed the hungry. Help the suffering.

Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.

James 1:27

Love

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

1 Corinthians 13:3

What is real love? Many people think it has something to do with reward. They ask, “What do I get from this relationship.... Why am I putting so much effort into it? What is the return?”

That is how the world sees love. But it isn’t the love that Paul spoke of in the bible.

But it is possible, now I know, to love something-- someone even-- in a selfless way. You can love them for what they are going to give forward to the world. You can invest time and effort into your relationship because of the promise of a different kind of return. Some day, some where you will see a big list of things that your investment reaped and you can smile and say, “WOW, I helped put that light into the world....” and that is what it is all about.

Other people don't get that. In fact, they hate it. They attack real love and try to stamp it out, twist it, destroy it, mock it or snuff it from the world. They want love to be about selfish reward; be it sex or monetary or greed or possession or obsession. But that isn't love. That is control.

There is love without control, free and perfect love. Love that exists while opening the cage and letting the bird fly free. Love that my grandfather showed me in his basement. Love for a people you are ready to die for. Jesus loved me. I have found things that I truly love. I am ready to suffer for that which I love.

Lord, be with me as I carry this cross. AMEN

Bright, Shiny and New

ThrowN has a new member. His name is Joel DuVall and he is a Harley mechanic/T-shirt artist from Audubon, IA. I just got back from our first practice and what can I say... Let me try and put this into words.

WOW!! WOW!! WOW!!! Everything is new again. Everything is golden. I feel like I did the first time I ever sat under a tree and strummed a guitar. I knew only three chords but it was enough to make something, to make an offering of music… to praise loudly with voice and instrument.

Things are new again. And who would have thought that just one little tweak could mean so much. I think that when you have a group of people all focused on serving Jesus Christ, then the art of praise will be purer, sweeter, more true.

Joel came to our Sunday practice and he was right there! In the pocket! Our heavy was heavier. Our punk was punker. Our praise was more worshipful. There was this moment, second song into the jam, playing Zacchaeus when it was just so sublime. The drums were tight, our guitars were screaming and I was screaming as loud as I could... it was just right!

Best part of this whole deal is that the guy is really one of us! He looks like one of us hardcore Christians. And he has the ink to prove it. He is funny, real and SO dedicated to the Lord. I can tell he works well with youth. He will not just be a drummer. He will be a ministry partner. I can’t stress how pumped I am about this change.

I do wish my brother Tyler well. His service to the band is so appreciated and I wish him God's grace in all his journeys over this wide earth. I love him so much. But sometimes we have to travel the road of life before we can look back see who we are and where we are from. Even Jesus left Nazareth to spread the Gospel.

So, prayers answered! And WOW!!! TWELVE BASKETS MORE!

Lazarus Man

Ever had a day when you just felt like Lazarus? Like you are already in the tomb… trapped… and you need a miracle to pull you from that dark shadowy place?

John 11

Then Jesus shouted, "Lazarus, come out!" And he came out, a cadaver, wrapped from head to toe, and with a kerchief over his face.

Jesus told them, "Unwrap him and let him loose."

I have been struggling with a lot of junk lately. Doubt… Anxiety… Fear about health issues… Rumor… Innuendo… Its funny because of course I know who is behind so much of the friction in our daily lives. The devil, despite what my mother thinks, doesn't have to use big plans and fancy schemes to wreck our mission. He whispers doubt, plays little rivalries against good Christians and spins his little deceptive tricks that pull us down. It is a slow battle of attrition and some days you find yourself so lost that you think you will sink below the surface and drown in a sea of despair.

Well, today I shouted out for a lifeline. I had a meeting with my pastor and he really put things in perspective. Jesus overcame the same kind of trials.. only far greater. When we encounter them, that is work for the kingdom. We can hold our heads high and proclaim victory in Jesus' name. Our team wins! The enemy is defeated. Pastor Menter pointed me to this motto for times of trial.

"Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens--give a cheer, even!-for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble."

Matt 5:11-12 MSG

I left the pastor’s office with a new spring in my step. I took all my struggles, wrapped them up and gave them to the Great Physician. I said, "Jesus, I am getting weighed down here. I need you to pick me up. I need you to call me out of my shadows and breath new life into me."

And He does. He is always there, always ready to roll away the weight of doubt and despair and bring you back into the fullness of His love.

Thank you, Lord, for calling me from my dark place and restoring me with your Grace. -Amen

a rope on the edge

So I am battling this viral infection. I have never been a sick person but since football season I have had this reoccurring problem with the left side of my face. I have had ear infection after ear infection, tonsillitis, soar throat, swollen glands in my mouth and neck. I have been to the doctor repeatedly.

Finally over Christmas break I went to an ENT that seemed to get the problem fixed, a viral infection in my glands were the root of all the other issues. After a long regiment of anti-viral medicines we thought we had licked it.. Save some lingering issues with my mumps gland. Up until this point I never even knew I had a mumps gland. Now I know that when it gets infected it makes your jaw and ear throb- a randomly occurring, shooting, tooth-rattling pain.

During this time I prayed over this problem half-heartedly. But ever since Charisa's head injury and miraculous healing, I can’t find the words to ask for my own favors with the Lord’s healing touch. It just seems selfish.

For those of you who don’t know, my daughter, just six months old at the time, had a toddler fall on her at daycare and a quarter-sized part of her skull was crushed in. I don't know if words can describe the horror of looking down at your little girl and seeing something as massively wrong as that. If you've ever seen a ping pong ball that has been stepped on, you know exactly the kind of fracture we are talking about. I felt sick in my gut. But she looked at me and smiled and some how, the Lord was letting me know that it was going to be ultimately ok, even though in that ambulance ride, things looked really bleek.

They say faith is like a rope by a cliff. You don’t know how strong the rope is while you are standing on the precipice. But once you’ve jumped over and are dangling from it, then you know for sure how strong it is. That was what I found. There I was, hanging over the edge, just my daughter lying there with a big dent in her head, and my wife and I, left to give it to God and pray. Prayer wasn’t an exercise. It wasn’t a ritual. It was all there was to do.

The thing I found was a calm, a knowing that GOD was just as real in this place as he was on mission trips, at youth services and in the little victories in life... better yet was the realization that no matter the outcome, He was still all I had. I remember the conversation Peter had with Jesus after His startling message to the Jews that He was to be eaten like manna from heaven. Jesus, seeing many followers desert him, turns to the loyal twelve and offer them the chance to leave. But Peter evaluates his situation and proclaims in an awesome moment of faith, "Where else can I go. I have invested everything in you."

During the next day at the hospital, when the surgeon returned from the operating room, an hour early, he said that the skull just popped back into place, with no bleeding underneath. It was a miracle.

Calla Johnson, our dear friend, Luther League Leader, mission trip commander, and mega-nurse, held our hand the whole way through. She proclaimed at this great news, “YEAH GOD! HE DOES GREAT WORK!”

I responded, “You do great work, too, doctor.”

And what happened next I will never forget. He looked at me with glassy eyes. He said in a quiet voice, “This time it was 5 % me, and 95% a better doctor.” Looking up to the heavens.

Leaving the hospital, Charisa was already responding normally, as if nothing had happened. That is when a nurse told us how grave the situation was. She said they see cases like that there quite often, and it is never good. Babies that survive are either brain damaged, paralyzed or terribly disfigured. But our child was the one in a thousand that by some great Grace far beyond our own understanding was restored to normal. It gave faith and prayer a whole new perspective. And I shouted from the roof tops the greatness of our God.

So, I have had my one big miracle in my life… I am thankful each day for it. The Lord loves us and does great things for us just as He did 2000 years ago in the Holy Lands.

So all was back to normal in my life. My three year old is being potty trained. My little girl is on the verge of walking (way early might I add). And I am thankful. Then Tuesday, while brushing my teeth, I felt that old familiar discomfort in my mouth… followed by some ear pain… and I knew it was back. So last night I laid awake with this burning knot in my stomach from the medicine and I thought… and thought… and thought. I knew it was time to give this to God.

Calla helped scare some sense into me when she used a big bad medical term “Systemic”. I have no desire to get really sick and die… I have more Gospel to spread, more light to shine. So now I am ready to start praying. And I will start reading Job. God is the boss. I give this to Him. Bad mouth infection or no, I am His child, better or worse.

Job looked to God and said,

"I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything.

Nothing and no one can upset your plans.

Job 42: 1, 2

So, I find myself back on the edge, with a rope in hand. I ponder the jump that is to come. Pray with me friends. Let the Lord work in my life.

Son of Sorrow

I have been thinking a lot lately about Jesus' passion on the cross. What a personal sacrifice for me, laying down the divine to walk for me... to lead me... to suffer and die for me.

Too often we make the cross this happy symbol of our faith. We turn it into an icon- a cliché. But do not forget what the cross is... it isn't a placid, safe, peaceful symbol.... it is a radical event, the breaking of the old way in order to fix those stained with sin. It is the living God giving up His thrown, striding down to the world of men and taking action to right the wrong.

Jesus, in the garden, ponders the fate that is laid out before Him. He says as sweat pours down his brow like blood... "Wow, Father-God, if there is any other way to solve this massive crisis, to save these people then that would be cool... but NOT WHAT I WANT... But YOUR WILL BE DONE." That was for me!!! A personal decision to go down the road of crucifixion for me!!! And so often I take that for granted. I should live my life in constant remembrance of the fact that the cross is more than a happy symbol on par with the peace sign and a happy smiley face.

"The Fatal Wound"

Switchfoot

I am the crisis

I am the bitter end

I'm gonna gun this down

I am divided

I am the razor edge

there is no easy now

son of sorrow staring down forever with an aching view

disenchanted lets go down together with the fatal wound

this is the real thing

no rubber bullets now

this is the final bow

my breath avoids me

my chest is in my head

my stomach's upside down

son of sorrowstaring down forever with an aching view

disenchanted lets go down together with the fatal wound

Jesus made a personal sacrifice for you on the cross. Listen as He calls to your heart, through the ages, "join me... believe in me... go down with me and you will become part of something that is endless... forever."

Be with Him on His journey. Walk with Him to the Cross.

Weep at His feet next to Mary and His mother.

Jesus is the remedy for our sinful world. He is the breaking point, the answer, the rescue. Cling to Him today and find life in the cross.

Be Immersed

New Hope Lutheran is getting a lot of publicity right now for their PEEW service.

Sign me up!!

I am seriously considering driving over every Thursday night to experience Immersion, the new emergent worship at NHLC in West Des Moines... Too bad my wife's woman's bible study is that night. I have downloaded some podcasts from the messages and boy do they sound great... but its one thing to hear the message and other to experience the worship.

I will post my reactions here as soon as I make the trip over.

Communion

Tell me... how do we praise Him everyday? How do we transform our lives so that worship becomes automatic and ever-present? How do we hold on to those moments of fullness... where you feel swept away, lost in the everglow of the Holy Spirit?

I remember Megan telling me during the foot washing at West Virginia, hold onto this feeling. I remember coming back and feeling NEW. I remember how some songs were like wine. Who am I - Casting Crowns-- Dissapear -Bebo Norman.... I Will Not Be Silent Anymore- DC*B. I remember digging into the bible like it was all I had. I was new... The experiences were fresh. I was transformed.

But more and more, I find that experience a fading, fleeting memory. I hungry for that place, seek it out like a questing knight, but most of the time I am pursuing him... and left reaching for a goal.

Yesterday I was reminded of this when Amanda texted me and told me that she was so pumped after the Acquire the Fire youth rally that she was ready to hold nothing back. She said that she was hungry for that feeling and didn't want to let go. She wanted to feel it right then, to worship Him right where she was.

And that is the key... that is the goal. We must do just that. We must commune with our Lord and Savior everyday. We must make praise the act of living. We must make our very coming and going an act of worship.

So we turn to acts of quiet private worship: contemplation, meditation, sacred reading, prayerful reading, etc. We bring our hearts before Him and submit... we call out... we seek, seek, seek... that feeling, the connectivity, that living water that makes us feel truly alive.

Lord, make me feel so close to you. Give me a picture of Your Face. -AMEN

Prayer Request

Pray for my band. We are going through a rough patch. I don't know where the Lord will lead us but I think it is important for us to be all focused and committed to Jesus Christ... And I don't know what the implications of that statement are.

I do know that I love this group of guys! I love hanging out with them... laughing with them, rocking out with them... So I relinquish control over this to God. He knows more than I do. So I know he can handle this.

Father, we are vessels, wet clay under the whim of your hands. All that we have we offer to you... to conform to your purpose... your plan. May your majesty become evident it this and all things. AMEN

A father's love

I have been real busy lately. Night classes, optimist club, band practice, church council, luther league planning meetings, doing my grades for school... just to name a few of the things I have been juggling in the evenings. I haven't had any real QT with my son lately.

But I cleared some time, locked it up, dialed it in... I did nothing the last few days but romp around with my son.

Being a good dad might be the most important job I have. And I take our playtime very seriously. We have this game we play called "Mountain". Addy made it up himself. First he piles every pillow and blanket, beanbag chair and coat in the downstairs ontop of me. Then he climbs up on top of my head and jumps up and down, giggling with glee. I let him pummel me for a few minutes, then I throw him and all the stuff off me with a mighty "ROOOOAAAR!" I chase him around tickling him for a while before he starts piling the pillows again and the cylce repeats.

My father never got down on my level like that. So I make it a real point to do that. There is something really special about having a little guy look up to you like that.

Today, after a long stretch of playing choo choo, watching Thomas the Tank Engine and of course a long romp of "Mountain" Adison gave me a hug and turned to run away. But he paused, turned around and pointed at me and announed to no one in particular, "THIS MY BUDDY!"

THAT ROCKED!

No matter how busy I get, I must always have time to be a father... No matter how important the task at hand seems, being there for my kids is bigger. What will mean the most in a decade? Some project for grad school or my son's spirit? Father is JOB ONE!

Husbands, go all out in love for your wives.
Don't take advantage of them.

Children, do what your parents tell you.
This delights the Master no end.

Parents, don't come down too hard on your children
or you'll crush their spirits.

Colossians 3:19-21 MSG

TMC: Gourds and Bananas

Yesterday was another Thursday Morning Club, and this time I didn't prepare at all. I was too busy with church council and Luther League planning to write a bible study. But I did have a lot on my heart and let it poor out in the way of a bible study.

I drew a gourd on the whiteboard. I discussed how African tribes catch monkeys by cutting holes in them, sticking a banana in them and then hanging them from trees. The monkey will stick his hand into the hole of the gourd, grab the fruit and when he can't get both back out, he will be stuck. Hours later, the hunter returns to find the monkey still struggling to remove the fruit. All it would have to do to avoid capture is let go and leave the temptation of the trap... but the monkey is helpless to its own greed. It is doomed.

Aren't we a lot like that monkey? Aren't we also slaves to the world's little sin traps? Aren't we just seconds from falling victim to the returning huntsman?

I tell you friends, I am tired of seeing the people I love victimized by sin. They are chained... They are trapped. They are addicted... and all they have to do is let go!

"Daisy"
Switchfoot

Daisy, give yourself away
Lookup at the rain
The beautiful display
Of power and surrender
Giving us today
And she gives herself away

Rain, another rainy day
Comes up from the ocean
Give herself away
She comes down easy
On rich and dead the same
And she gives herself away
Let it go
Daisy,

Let it go Open up your fist
This fallen world
Doesn't hold your interest
It doesn't hold your soul
Daisy, let it go

Pain, give yourself a name
Call yourself contrition
Avarice of blame
Giving isn't easy
Neither is the rain
When she gives herself away
Daisy, why another day?
Why another sunrise
Who will take the blame
For all redemptive motion
And every rainy day
When he gives himself away
Let it go

Daisy, let it go
Open up your fist
This fallen world
It doesn't hold your interest
It doesn't hold your soul
Daisy, let it go

In the words of David's Psalms we see him working out the notion of contrition. Read these Psalms and take them to heart.

• Psalm 22
• Psalm 32
• Psalm 40
  
  

What are you hanging on to? What is keeping you from the Master? What chains you down? Let it go! Let it go today.

Word up!

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.

-Romans 1:16

Lust for Life

"Christ is more of an Artist than the artists;

He works with the living spirit and living flesh;

He makes men instead of statues."

-Vincent Van Gogh

Horses and Stones

He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed. -Mat 21:44

Do I want to be broken to pieces? Do I want to want to be broken to pieces?
I definitely do not want to be crushed.

Sweet joy-tears... soothing spirit in that broken state. The realization that you are not enough- that you alone are failure waiting to die—walking death.

But this stone is life—hope--- light—possibility—bliss—finding oneness in emptiness.

I want to be broken.

He who falls…. Falls like spirit falls. Falls on the floor broken—you realize you’re broken you no longer stand—prone— face down on the floor.

Exhaling—groans which only the Spirit can comprehend. The cold of the floor on my face—the warmth of the Presence…. Come New Spirit and break me to pieces—Come fall with me.
There is a scary quality to this passage. There are only two choices—no alternative.
Give in or else—fall or fail—

But falling is living.
Falling is breathing.
And You are my sweet breath of life.



I grew up on farm. We raised Angus cattle and had a few horses. I am fourteen years removed from that farm and rarely revisit those days of agrarian life in my mind.

When I was perhaps seven years old, my parents purchased a large, beautiful stallion named Casey. He was a gorgeous specimen, towering high with powerful muscles and a beautiful gallop. There was one problem with Casey. No one had ever broken him for riding. My parents took the gamble that a neighbor girl who had a gift for horsemanship could work with the animal. Casey was a difficult student. He showed no desire to be haltered or saddled let alone let anyone ride him. He resisted the girl day after day. He would not be tamed.

He roamed the pasture with the other horses, fast and free on his own. But still, every time the other horses were brought up to ride, Casey would pace the fence line watching the whole time. Though he thought being in control was the best, there was a longing in his heart to be a useful horse.

One day after many months, Casey submitted to the trainer and was broken to ride. He ended up becoming a wonderful horse to ride. He was gentle yet fast. There, at the end of my contemplation, I had an image of Casey pacing that fence line. In life we want to be in control of our own world. We don’t care what we miss out on. But our hearts are made with a hunger for taming. We too must be broken. Submitting our will breaks us as we collide with the Rock. But it is much better than the alternative of being crushed underneath it.

This Is Your Life

Last year I quit my job. Generation Genesis was going strong and my band was doing well. I felt like I was finally becoming someone I wanted to be. Working with youth made me feel so fufilled. So when a large Lutheran Church in Omaha contacted me about becoming the new youth pastor I was pumped. I interviewed and was offered the job. It paid well, decent benefits. The were only two problems:
1) we would have to move and leave my teaching gig.
2) they said I had to decide right away.

This didn't give me the time to pray over the decision that I felt deep in my soul that I needed.

So I accepted the job and resigned my position at EH-K. Leaving the classroom to work with youth had to be what God would want me to do... or so I hoped. I told my Thursday morning bible study first. They were devastated. They bawled and bawled. I remember Erin Greve coming into my room all by herself and she gave me a big hug. “Why do you have to go?” She whaled in an unusually loud voice.

There were three weeks where I was in transition. I was still working at the school but preparing to move to Omaha. This whole time I had this strange, sinking feeling that I might have made the wrong decision. But going to work at a big church had to be the more ‘Godly’ thing… or so I told myself. But I sort of knew in my heart that I was making a major, major mistake.

After a visit to speak with some leaders at the church, I saw that bigger isn’t always better. I really got the feeling that they were trying to make youth group like McDonalds. They were pushing for 300 served. Quantity seemed more important than quality of worship experience. I kind of knew that this wasn’t going to be a good fit. But still I pushed on with the idea… “This is the ‘Godly’ thing to do.”

Then prom night came. I am the prom sponsor and we put on a lovely prom. During the decorating the night before, Britta Larsen, one of my Luther League kids asked if we could have a group prayer to pray for a good prom. Everyone agreed and we huddled up and everyone prayed. It was so nice. It was God’s way of showing me how much of an impact I had over the kids. Prayer was becoming a part of their lives. But still, I was going to do the Lord’s work.

Prom night was filled with mixed emotions. It went real well. But I was leaving these kids behind. In the school van on my way home, all by myself, I was praying. “Lord, why do I feel so hollow. Why does this feel so wrong? Show me a sign of where I am supposed to go and what I am supposed to be. But not my will but yours be done.”

The moment I said those words, a Switchfoot song came on the radio. It was a clear message on what to do. The song asks, “This is your life, are you who you want to be?” After much contemplation I came to a decision. Do I want to work with these kids and watch them grow as artists and as Christians? The answer was yes, I want to be here with these youth. I got my old job back here at school and announced that I was returning to my kids. It was a joyous celebration.

Since then, my choice to stay has been validated over and over. This is where I am supposed to be.

A Tantalizingly Wonder-filled Coral Reef

"Dunlap's Art is to Art as a Coral Reef is to Architecture"

--Mark Paul Petrick

I was pleased to find a great review of David Dunlap and his work.

I find it interesting that I am thinking of him so much these days. I moved into a new house over the summer. As part of the moving process, I pulled all of my old abstract paintings from storage and relocated them to my new address. Perhaps this is the root of this emerging memory of a professor I hadn't given much thought to recently. But perhaps it has more to do with what I have been reading of late. I see a connection between Dunlap's theory of art, called Art Exhibitionism by Petrick, and the book Praise Habit by David Crowder.

Be glad, good people! Fly to GOD! Good-hearted people, make praise your habit.

--Psalm 64:10 MSG remix

The crux of Crowder's book is that praise is something we are, not something we do. If you are stuck in the old paradigm that praise consists only of singing a couple mediocre songs on Sunday morning, you are missing the point. David Crowder, the leader of his own postmodern/experiemental/emergent worship band/experience opens the reader up to a new way of thinking about praise. It is a new perspective, a lifestyle, not an event. Crowder, using techniques of Sacred Reading (lectio divina) reflects on psalms, writing new parables, poems and short tales about how they effect him. He explains how to develop a habit of praise in your everyday life. A praise habit is not just possible; it’s essential. Its the very reason we were created. We must strive to live in constant awe of God and watch what He does next.

I feel this connection between my artistic nature and my growing pursuit of a praise habit. I see the process of art making more and more intergrated with the idea of worship.

Art Exhibitionism: David Dunlap is a cultivator of relationships, a planter of conceptual seeds, a harvester of images, and a packager of the fruits of his obsessive creative labors in exhibitions that seem to accrete into place like a tantalizingly wonder-filled coral reef.

Doesn't that description sound like what we want here in our little emerging church movement? Don't we want to be cultivating relationships? I want to plant conceptual seeds, and oh, the harvest! Oh the fruits of our creative labor. And ever I aspire for my worship to grow into a tantalizingly wonder-filled coral reef.

Artist-God

What is the first thing we know about God? What is the first thing we learn of him in Scriptures? Flip open the Bible and look for yourself. In the Beginning, God CREATED....

God by His very awesome nature creates and cares for. God, creator of marvelous creation.

I like watching those shows on the discovery channel with anthropologists explaining the origins of man. They love to explain a key difference between human beings and the rest of the animal world. It is their inextinguishable expressive nature that sets Cro-Magnon man apart from everything else. Man makes art. Man adorns his body. Man makes beautiful things.

So, let us look at Genesis 1:27.

God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

If we are made in the image of God, who by His very nature is the creator, then what else would separate us from the rest of creation than an innate artistic nature? It is who we are. We have coded into our bodies the desire, the inescapable urge to rise up in expressive worship and offer praise to our God. There will come the day when every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord. Why wait?

Use your expressive nature today to create an offering to God!

We will be sharing some artwork by my bible study youth in the comments area.

Jesus Rising
by Steven Howard

The value of the church

WOW! Today I was really reminded of the value of corporate worship. Church today was so alive. It was so real. The choir sang a haunting anceint hym. The message was so gospel-centered and really spoke to me. It was a challenge to BE YOUR FAITH! Pastor told us to get on the playing field and work for Jesus, telling others of His Good News and His saving grace. It was a powerful experience and was truly edifying.

Too often I am the one teaching and I don't get the change to be filled up. I look for moments to really fill the tank, then focus on others. But today in church, I got a chance to hear what the Lord wanted me to hear. And it was awesome. Pastor sang "In Christ Alone." It is my favorite song that he does. It was followed by communion... and at EHLC I am always moved by Christ's gift in the eucharist. But today I came away from the alter with Scritpure on my lips. 2 Samuel 7 , David's prayer.

I returned to the balony and flipped a pew bible open to that location and read it. I began to weep freely. Why me? Why has He poured His favor on me? It is the question I return to often. So I prayerfully returned to the Confession in our bulletin and there in the balcony read back over the words quietly, just between me and God. This time through they held so much more meaning. I confessed to God that I am nothing without Him... that without His life altering grace I am lost on a angry sea.

Everything came together, the choir, the musicians, the pastor's sermon, his singing, the bread and the wine. Isn't that what corporate worship is supposed to be? Sharing His truth as one body, sharing our time and our talents to the Glory of Jesus?

I love my church. I am so thankful that we cling to the Word, the Truth, the ancient wisedom- and also that we confess boldly that Christ is King.

So as I ponder this entire notion of Postmodern Worship and praise habit, I must remember that our diet of praise must be a rich one. We must feed our soul with a variety of communion experiences. Corporate worship is one type of meal, quiet time is another. Contemplation is richly edifying as well as rocking out in the mosh pit at a Crowder concert. I do want to see my time with God as every moment of my life, and church is my time with like-minded fellow believers all focusing on God at the same moment.

An aura of worship

Back in college, I had an amazing painting professor named David Dunlap. He was a character. David didn’t really ‘paint’ or ‘draw’ per say… but he was the quintessential artist. He preached a message that art isn’t a product. It is creative human beings interacting with the world. In fact, art becomes an aura of creativity that surrounds the artist. It moves about him throughout the day and the artifacts of this creative process, drawings, paintings and sculpture are left behind. These things, while often highly valued by society, are actually secondary to the act of expressive living. I loved David Dunlap and wove his lessons into my being.

I will never forget his ‘lessons’. He would roll into painting class, late, and stand behind me silently looking at my most recent painting for a few minutes. Finally he would speak in his deep, mellow voice, “Oh… painter, painter!” He’d smile, pat me on the shoulder and then walk away. That would be his instruction for the week. To this day, I have absolutely no idea what that meant. But it encouraged me to continue to try new things to get my inner voice out to the public.

More and more, I am beginning to see worship in the same way that David Dunlap viewed art. It shouldn’t be a program at church. It isn’t merely the sum of the hymns, choruses and responsive readings that we go through every Sunday. In fact, it shouldn’t even be anything that we go to do. It’s something more—something wonderfully sublime. Worship should be… and must be an aura about us as we expressively live in communion with God. It’s Isaiah 45:23, every knee bowing, every tongue shouting. It must become woven into us, becoming more instinctive than breathing. It is the believer interacting with the world in the artwork called life.

I want a living, breathing faith; an expressive faith- a growing faith. I want the artifacts of my worship to enrich the world.

God, lead me to worship you more deeply and more ardently and may my worship become integrated with every aspect of my life. AMEN.

Jedidiah

This past Christmas break, Chad Jacobsen, Calla Johnson and I created a three day discipleship camp.

We met each day at one o’clock at Chad’s grandparents’ old farm house. Our sessions began with some bible study and prayer. Then we headed out for a day of service. We returned each night to make dinner followed by worship in the basement.

The first day we drove to Des Moines and volunteered at Hope Ministries. Some of us helped prepare a meal at the shelter for battered women and their kids while others of us sorted clothing at a processing center for their thrift store.

Day two we volunteered at the Girls and Boys Club in Adair. This was a great time of fun and fellowship with these school-aged kids.

Day three we had a fun day of bowling before we made homemade pizza, an intensive bible study/worship/prayer meeting and a late night New Years Eve party.

Thoughts:

At first I was a little disappointed with the turn out. But God put the right number of people in our group each day. We were so blessed to have Ashley Danner and T-Rob, two college kids back to help. They are the best- strong Christians and good hearts. It was great to see the bond that Ashley and Kiah have. They were close during wrestling last year and that connection was rekindled.

Isn’t this what the EC is all about? We had no building, no titles, no boundaries. We had the bible, our love of Christ and our willingness to share His love with each other and the world. This model of discipleship is what I long for. No longer do the stage and pageantry of the big mega-churches impress me. I want a small circle of believers that will hold hands, pray, sing, laugh, read, share, serve, love—and cling to Christ.

Lord- may the emerging church flourish. AMEN.

Full Circle

Walking down the steps of the old country farm house, I saw the white stone walls. A cold basement, low ceilings, the perfect place for our worship.

We pointed our projector at a wide stretch of wall and our small group sat in a semi-circle as our service began.

We opened in prayer, then sang- only my guitar and our half dozen voices echoing off the walls. It magnified in such a small space- a glorious chorus. We read responsively a David Psalm. How sweet- how ripe- an ancient act of worship.
Then I spoke, we shared, we prayed- ending with "Everyday"- a song of daily surrender, daily devotion, daily communion, daily faith, renewal each morning like the rising of the sun.

It was there, in that basement, that I really thought about what a church IS... a what a church SHOULD BE.

There, in that basement, we were an underground church. I thought about the early church, hiding in catacombs from the Romans. I thought of the Christians being fed to the lions in the Coliseum. I thought about the hidden church in China, hiding in basements from persecution… even today. There we were, in the basement, a perfect stage to share our faith, our emerging mission to create a culture of worship, a tradition of sharing the Spirit, sharing our lives.

And ultimately, the circle comes complete, as I recall my fondest memories as a child. My grandfather had a woodshop in his basement. Down those steps he would take me, and we would make beautiful things out of trash. He never called himself an artist, just a pragmatic Iowa farmer. But his work was beautiful. And though he was unchurched, there was something so glorious about the devotional crosses that he made from olds and ends, drift wood and scraps. They sang like a David Psalm, to the nature of Jesus’ awesome sacrifice on a rugged-hewn cross. Those crosses were just neat to look at to me at the time, but the love he should me, that was formative. From my grandfather I learned about Jesus’ love, selfless, total, eternal. My grandfather- the whittling pastor of that basement church of two.

Little did I know, but he was teaching me about the resurrection- new life from the discarded, beauty from broken.

So God bless the basements of the world. May we all find that same feeling. Amen.