Cougar Tracks

I had a great day at class tonight. I think it was a real break through. It didn't hurt that we were discussing the Reformation, Luther and the Pietists. All went pretty smooth. I did note one major difference between my own presuppositions and the rest of the room. When they say Calvin they tend to have a little smile on their face while I follow that name up with a "HHhhhhCK... Poooowie!" --JK (kind of)

Woogie (sp?) shared an interesting conversation about his youth ministry, the new harvest of youth and the emergent church. He stated that he has seen a lot of rationalists and universalist thought coming from his youth. I, on the other hand, have seen a great opening up of piety and mystic possibilities. Kids today (and now 20-somethings) want a faith that is interactive... They don't want to just sit and receive. They want it is powerful in their lives. They want to be immersed in their faith... not just attend on Sunday and then return to their homes. At least this is what I have been seeing, both in my own circle of believers, in my own life and from those I network with in the PEEW movement. Our Discipleship camp really moved my thinking that direction also... which I am sure I will get around to sharing at a later date (once the memories are good and foggy).

I do want to discuss service for a moment. I know some see the importance I put on missions and service as the dreaded "Works Righteousness!!!" But on the contrary... its really just a sign that Jesus Christ is working in your heart and in your life.

When we see cougar tracks in our backyards in Harlan, Iowa, it is proof that a cougar has been there. In the same way, if we have life change, if by God's Grace through faith we change our focus off of our own selfish needs and serve others in Jesus' name, and spread His Good News, then these acts of service are merely evidence (tracks if you will) of His presence, working in you, molding you into someone else.

GO TELL SOMEONE ABOUT JESUS TODAY!! IT COULD SAVE THEIR LIVES!!!

I hate RAGBRAI!!!!

Just for the record....

I hate RAGBRAI!! For those of you who don't know, RAGBRAI is this yearly, week-long bike ride across Iowa. This year it stops in Audubon, a town just 20 or so miles away. At first I was pumped, thinking that our youth group could raise a lot of money with a food stand. But now I learn that my dear friend... my rock, Todd can't come on our mission trip because he will have to stay in town for that stupid bike ride! I can't express how the level of suck-a-tude that has!

Prayerfully, I face my fears and my disappointment. God will make this trip awesome. He makes them all that way. But I will loose a certain measure of safty and comfort by not having him there... covering my back!

But we will find a way to make lemondaid (Romans 8:28)!!!

More West Virginia Memories

I received a letter from Aldger the other day. It really got me thinking about West Virginia.

Fondest memories—

I went on that trip broken, in bondage to anger and hate in my heart. On Monday night, I was really touched by the message at Club. I found a quiet place afterward and got on my knees and prayed a prayer of forgiveness, for the Lord to take that burden away… and BOOM! Like lightening it was gone. I was free. I felt like doing that run… you know the run… the run that those folks do on those faith healing shows… the crutches tossed aside, tears rolling down, their arms waving in the air like they are trying to flag down an oncoming car. My heart rejoiced… I exalted the Healer. The weight was lifted and I was free to do the rest of the work I had to do that week.

That ROCKED!

Next memory—

I remember Aldger at the foot washing playing Better is One Day over and over again with conviction filling the room. The Holy Spirit—full force—breaking down those who need the humbling, reaffirming those who need building up—all the while he played that song.

Then the amazing things happened, things words can’t describe so I wont even bother… but let’s just say this Lutheran can get as Charismatic as his Pentecostal brothers and sisters.

That was the night that Megan rededicated herself to the Lord. Megan and I are so close, now and forever, because our faiths arched at the same time… we both quit pretending and started living. Her testimonial was like food, to taste and to nourish.

“I put my heart right in my hand and I lifted it up to God and said, ‘Here.. this is yours now… I am going to live my life for you… everyday!”

These words burrowed into my soul. And forever I am different because of my friend Megan, whom I respect so much that I have trusted her with the discipleship of my daughter Charisa. No better godparent can a child ever have. Megan is my hero.

That night, I surrendered to the Lord in a way I never knew I could. I prayed… prayed until my shirt ran with tears, both mine and those of my youth. I prayed like their lives depended on it and used every last ounce of strength. It was sweet beyond words. I collapsed in a corner and wept tears of joy. I even woke up at three in the morning... weeping tears of joy. I remember thinking, 'why me, Lord? Why when I am so small and YOU so awesome... why would you ever choose to do this massive resurrection in my life?'

I still search for that answer today.

Memory three—

I remember the feast some time later that night. At the stroke of midnight, the four staff let me into their inner sanctum to partake of a great feast. Unknown to any of us, these wonderful staff members, on our great day of service and evening of spiritual awakening, had deprived themselves by fasting. I will never forget Aldger eating that cobbler. It was epic! It was like the first taste of food he had ever eaten. He loved food. He ate with such enthusiasm. In fact I remember him describing eating food with even more gusto. So there in that kitchen we sat up till all hours of the night and ate, laughed and smiled.

It is memories like these of Jake and Aldger that really make the trip special. They weren't just there to help... they were 100 percent our brothers! MAN, THEY ROCK!

Memory four—

I remember riding home with Justine and having a great talk about who we were and who we wanted to become. We shared so much true life stuff… That talk was amazing.

Memory five—

I remember Ashley and Megan (and the Drew Crew as well) making a pact to keep it going. And oh boy did we ever. We did prayer walks, bible studies, started bands, youth services… oh the West Virginia afterglow. I need afterglow now. I need that feeling of total emersion in The Spirit. I need that newness. I need it like I need oxygen… EVEN MORE!

Oh, to feel that way again.

After the foot washing, Megan told me to hold on that feeling… and a year to the day later she told me those same words again, at a foot washing ceremony on a different mission trip (one I am sure I will write about later). But that second time it became so clear to me that even here on earth when we become so swept away by the Spirit… even when we are encompassed like Soren into that energy ribbon on the movie Star Trek: Generations, we are only dipping our toe into the pool of what heaven has in store for us. When we weep HE will bend down and wipe the tears from our eyes! Bring it on! THAT DAY, sister Megan, I WILL WHISPER IN YOUR YEAR… “HOLD ON TO THIS FEELING FOREVER!” And we will.

PEEW??

So what is PEEW you ask? It stands for Postmodern/Experiemental/Emergent Worship.... Its the renewing of the body of Christ through a wide range of new expressive ways to commune with God. There is a good online paper about this by Matthew Campbell. You can check it out at the link below.

http://www.cpinternet.com/~robbfc/pwarchive/html/PEEW_paper.htm

Almost Heaven

I was stumbling along my boring comfortable life when I stepped out of the red van in the West Virginian summer sun. I was a chaperone on a Youthworks weeklong mission trip. We take one every summer—as a teacher that everyone loved, I was often asked to go. At that time I still saw my role in the church as a spectator- a person meant to ‘come and see.’ I saw church as a place to receive… of which you are a member. Something was about to change my way of seeing radically. Little did I know, I was about to meet that agent of change.

There he was- God’s road block for my life. A short, cleanshaven black man- no older than twenty-two- came up to me with a huge smile on his face. Right there, he grabbed my hand and gave me a violent handshake. He proclaimed at the top of his lungs, “The LORD has revealed that you are going to do great things in His name… You’re going to go back home and lead many youths to the Lord and great revival will follow….”

His voice was dynamic—like a southern preacher man and he said foreign words to me like “Praise GOD!” and “Halleluiah” with ease.

I nervously shook his hand back and said, “Hi my name is ‘Digger’…” the nickname my youth group sometimes call me. He was so outside the box of what I was comfortable with. He was radical and loud… and he changed my life forever. During that week of service and worship, this ‘roadblock’ preached, sang, laughed, counseled and taught. I would never be the same. Most of all he challenged me… challenged my way of think and way of seeing. There are two men… the one I was before that mission trip, and the new one Christ was building up afterwards.

Four weeks later, I sat at a youth service at King of Kings Lutheran Church in Omaha, NE. I had taken a small handful of youth to worship there but truly I was hoping to run into an old Christian musician friend. Nervously I asked him- sweaty palms and heart racing- if he would join me in creating a worship band. I said, “I have been having this image in my mind… to form a Christian band, you and I. Punk… none of this safe, easy to listen to, romantic love songs like you hear at places like this…” pointing at the band playing at that moment.
He smiled and said, “You know, I have been have the same thought. I keep thinking a lot about those times when I used to play Christian music… I would love to start a band with you.”
And so our little group came together.

The Beginning

Well, here we are folks! I have long had it on my heart to share my experiences with the emerging church beyond the covers of my lyric journal or daily diary. After many other Christian Forums and web communities left me wanting. I decided to create my own blog. I will also share my thoughts with the Emerging Leaders Network when the topics of my entries are pertaining directly to PEEW.

A few facts about me:
I am married with two kids, a boy Adison, age 3 and a girl Charisa, seven months old. By day, I am an art teacher at the local public school. In the evenings I take Graduate classes at Grace University in Omaha, NE. I am studying Educational Ministry. I also have a youth ministry. It all started with my little punk band called ‘Thrown’. The full story of this calling will unveil over the next few weeks.

Through a long winding road, I have grown closer to God, become a different person and tasted the fruit of discipleship in small little circles of believers. This experience has radically changed the way I perceive worship and churchiantiy. I hope people enjoy my story and share their own experiences.

Peace,
Bollman