We buildt ourselves a pillar but we used it as a crutch

I have been traveling through a dry time spiritually for almost a year now. I have been inside myself... mulling over things like a wine taster savors a bit of wine in his or her acute mouth. For a long time I had no voice like a sick person has laryngitis. But slowly that internal itch has started to revive in my mind. The voice is starting to come back. I am wanting to write again, sing again, speak of Jesus again. One thing comes to mind... One obstacle that I have seen in others and my own walk (my own stumbles and my own falls as well).

I believe that we often find things in life that we think are pillars, strong stone things that we choose to build with. We set out to support our lives, our mission, our ministry upon these pillars. But we are weak men. Too often we take a pillar and turn it into a crutch... we become so dependent on them that our mission and our ministry becomes feeding that act, or being important enough, right enough, or righteous enough... we lose sight of what was important in the first place.

It's like the foolish scribes that memorize the Bible but never take a moment to understand, never let the Spirit reveal the deep Truth that is the WORD of God. They go to build a temple based on the Word but in the end only worship the words. Or people that spend so much time focused on shepherding their flocks that they become councilors and not holy men.

What can I say about this? I have been guilty of the trappings of the crutch syndrome. I believed myself to be the savior of a group of kids... and really I was just a vessel. My intentions were noble in the beginning but I let my ego get so out of hand that I lost touch with what matters in the big picture. In the end I guess we just have to strip down everything, wander into those dry times, and come back to the root of what matters...

THE BLOOD OF CHRIST!

At His feet I regain my right perspective- focused on HIM... at HIS CROSS I am face down and asking forgiveness. Let everything else melt away. In the end there is only Jesus. HE is all we need.

I think I am ready to write again...

I think its time I start penning these little ramblings again. I don't know if anyone will read them anymore... but that might not be the point. Maybe I just have some things to tell myself.

Stay tuned.