Doctor Doctor

From an email from Mike:

It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learnwhat this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come tocall the righteous, but sinners.

Matthew 9:12

One of the most remarkable features of the human condition is our capacityto pretend that we are healthy when our lives are in total chaos.

We work hard to cover up our problems and flaws in our character. We willsacrifice almost anything to keep from facing the truth about ourselves.

We work this hard to look good because we experience our human needs, limitsand failures with deep shame - a shame that drives us to strive harder andharder to look better and better. We sacrifice our serenity, our relationships,our sanity on the altar of perfectionism. We also sacrifice any possibilityof getting the help we need by continuing to insist that "we can handleit."

God does not ask such sacrifices from us. God has no need for us to be perfect.Jesus speaks to us gently but very clearly about this issue. He confrontsour pretense, shame and perfectionistic strivings. He says in effect "youdo not have to sacrifice yourself in this way. You do not have to driveyourself like this. I desire mercy, not sacrifice. I want you to learn tobe mercy-full to yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. It will freeyou to accept your need of healing. It will allow you to acknowledge yourlonging for me."

Jesus was saying "I did not come to pass out blue ribbons to the peoplewho have all the answers and have worked hard to prove themselves. I cameto bring hope and healing to people who know they need help." We canstop shaming and condemning ourselves because God does not shame or condemnus. God knows our brokenness, our pain, our need. We can give up our attemptsto prove ourselves and acknowledge our need for help and healing.

Lord, I don't want to be needy.
I want to be strong for you.
But, I can't sustain the pretense any longer
I have nothing to show for all my efforts to look good.
All I have done is shut you out of my life.


Today I acknowledge my need for you, Lord.
I need your healing and your forgiveness.
I am not healthy.
I need a doctor.
I need you.
Amen.

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan